Expecting strength

We've all heard of the "strong black woman" phrase. It's actually condescending.It's almost like even in times where showing vulnerability is appropriate, we're expected to be strong. We're expected to stay resilient. The moment we break out of that character, we're called weak, overly emotional or even dramatic. We're supposed to be the ones who never fold or break under pressure, even if the load we're carrying is just too heavy to bare. This "strong black woman" stereotype is creating room for my African-American women to be subjected to mental health issues, because we're told we can't break. We can't cry. We can't complain. Depression? Can't speak out about that, because we are always supposed to be strong and independent. I've also heard people say that depression is a white people problem. Well, let me tell you my dear, that is false. The girl who's always so strong, always able to control her emotions isn't supposed to get depressed, right? Wrong. That girl didn't speak out about her depression. Why? There wasn't anyone telling her it's okay to seek help. Battling depression but trying to conform to society's standards about who they think you should is a fight that seems to never end. Depression and any other mental health issue shouldn't be fought alone. I've been there. I didn't say anything. I handled it alone. Many nights I buried my face in a pillow and cried, wishing that it would go away. I put a smile on my face meanwhile on the inside, I was drowning in my own emotions. It's painful to pretend that you're happy. Studies show that 63% of African Americans believe that depression is a personal weakness. It's sad. I'm here to tell you that you can be strong and vulnerable at the same time. Yes, my black women, you are strong. You are resilient. You areeverything. But you are also human. A human that feels. A human that goes through things. When you're face to face with your weaknesses, that shows true strength. Being strong isn't the only option in the face of adversity. It's okay to not have it all together. Black women, we have to get out of own way, stop being our biggest critic and learn that it's okay to take care of ourselves in every aspect.